The Seinfeld Religion?

I'm not buying the elevator speech any more.

An elevator speech, as articulated by UUA President William Sinkford, is "what you'd say when you're going from the sixth floor to the lobby and somebody asks you, 'What's a Unitarian Universalist?'” No doubt there are as many elevator speeches as there are UUs.

I've revised my own elevator speech several times, and it makes sense to me and the other UUs who've heard it. However, every time I'm asked about Unitarian Universalism in an elevator setting - when put in the spot with time only for a "sound-bite" answer - I invariably stumble and stammer about 7 principles and 6 sources and community, hem and haw about Transylvania and John Murray, and trail off with a lame reference to Ralph Waldo Emerson and Susan B. Anthony.

This morning I try to explain Small Group Ministry (covenant groups) to a Protestant Christian co-worker. He asks me what the reference for such a discussion would be - the Bible, right? I ad-lib my "walking back to the elevator from the snack bar then riding to our floor and walking to our cubicles" speech. I can see his skepticism as I talk about the six sources - other than a brief flicker of interest about "...and Christian teachings..." - and his response is "so, does everyone have a copy of these?" I can see in his eyes he's thinking what's occurred to me on occasion - this "chosen faith" sounds a lot like a Religion About Nothing.

I haven't always felt this way. The first time I walked into the UU Church of the Monterey Peninsula, I saw a poster with the 7 principles. My initial reaction was "duh!" I was overjoyed to find a faith where I could satisfy my spiritual hunger without being told what to believe. It was amazing to find a group of people who seemed to view the world so much like me. I felt at home.

For the first two years after that initial encounter, I worshipped these principles. I memorized them at Leadership School and used them as a mantra for Chakra Breathing. I reflected on them and how I could live my life by them. I taught them to our K-1 RE class. But then I began to wonder - what do any of these have to do with religion? I wonder if Davidson Loehr, the minister of the First UU Church of Austin, TX, is correct about these "Seven Dwarfs." He writes

All seven principles come from the secular culture and secular values of America’s cultural liberals, whether they had a religion or not. That’s why so many visitors can recognize the principles as the sort of things they believed anyway.

Viewed from that perspective, I feel somewhat cheated. Is Unitarian Universalism just a "liberal cult," as one of the members of my congregation described his initial impression from 10 years ago? What's the point of calling it a "church" or a "religion" or a "faith" if all we worship are liberal values, and our main function is to provide a haven for recovering Catholics, Mormons, and Evangelicals? Once people who are really looking for meaning figure this out, what's keeping them around? Loehr goes on to say

I suspect it’s also why they [visitors] often leave when they realize many of the UU churches offer little beyond the ability to socialize with people who share those cultural values and vote for liberal social and political policies.

So why should I stay? I have more questions and doubts about who I am and what I believe than I did when I started. I feel uncomfortable identifying myself as a "UU." Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own congregation. I wonder why on earth I feel this calling to what might be a "ministry about nothing."

I stay because I'm inspired by almost every UU minister I've met. I stay because I believe people hunger for a religious (gathering together) community for worship (honor that which has the shape of worth) without being bound by creed or dogma. I stay because both congregations I've been part of are vibrant, growing, and nurturing. I stay because of this call, this compulsion, to do ministry. I stay because I can work within my congregation and community to increase the amount of Love and Justice in the world. I stay because our movement is evolutionary and there is the potential for its growth and improvement. I stay because my UU experience has transformed my life, and I think I am on the cusp of even greater understanding, commitment, and yes, faith - of, toward, and about Unitarian Universalism.

Unitarian Universalism is definitely about Something, but it is impossible to convey the depth and potential of our faith in a sound bite or an elevator speech. The seemingly simple - but in reality complex - question "what's a Unitarian Universalist?" deserves a complex answer. An elevator speech or sound-bite answer may have a place in casual conversation, but if I encounter someone who really wants to know more about UU, I should be willing to take the time to develop and give a more thorough answer.

I think my new elevator speech will be something like "it's complicated. Can we find somewhere to sit down so I can take some time to explain it to you? Or maybe you'd like to come to a service with me this Sunday - here's my card."

After all, Unitarian Universalism is something to experience, not talk about.