Friends

See update at the bottom of the post!

I made a new friend yesterday, and in the course of our conversations learned a little something about Friends - The Society of Friends, or Quakers.

My new Friend John and I both have daughters in the same Montessori preschool class, and we met at the National Zoo on the school field trip. Neither of us had come to the zoo expecting to meet someone with whom we had anything in common. Happily, we discovered we share many values and interests, and I was able to learn a lot about the Quaker movement. Hopefully I will accurately relate our conversation.

How interesting to meet and talk with a religious liberal who is not a UU - actually a first for me! All I really knew about Quakers was that they worshipped in silence. I am intrigued by the idea of creating sacred space through the presence of the community, rather than with a liturgy or ritual prescribed by an institution. Being a meditator, I am comfortable in silent stillness, but I think it is a challenge for many in our UU congregations. In fact, one of my ministerial friends and mentors once told me that more than about 30 - 45 seconds of silence (whether it's called meditation, prayer, or reflection) will put most people outside of their comfort zone. However, a Quaker meeting is not necessarily completely silent - members can speak or sing (or dance, I suppose) as they are moved.

I like the Quaker process of becoming a member. I have come to believe that it is generally too easy to become a member of a UU congregation, with little or no commitment required other than "signing the book." I think we are institutionally afraid of scaring people away, so we don't want to make it too hard to join. This can lead to "members" who are not really committed or part of the community, inflating our numbers for the UUA but not really contributing to the spiritual growth of the individual or the congregation.

Consider the Quaker membership process: first, a prospective member applies for membership by submitting a letter to a sort of membership committee. A separate committee, called a "Clearness Committee," is then formed to meet with the newcomer and discern her/his needs and gifts. Finally, the new member is welcomed into the community. This process seems to be a wonderful way not only to be more certain that a new member and the congregation are a good fit, but to immediately bring her/him into the community with love and caring. Maybe we could learn something from this.

Just for fun, I took the Belief Net "Belief-O-Matic" religion quiz again, and I am (according to the 20 question quiz) 100% UU and 96% Liberal Quaker! Maybe I ought to check out these "liberal Quakers." Meeting, anyone?

UPDATE June 7 - I can't believe I didn't originally link John's website, but here it is (in the links column to the right too).